Privacy

OK, I get it: you all think Tom Cruise is some weirdo in the grip of some cult, as if Scientology is any weirder or makes any less sense than any other religion. And you think it's weird that he's with a much younger woman, as if he's the first guy to ever date a girl half his age. Fuck, walk down Wall Street sometime, and I bet you any power banker over the age of 50 is fucking a 20 year old model.

But what is the big deal about people whining about no pictures having been taken of his newborn kid?? Is it so weird that a guy doesn't want the whole world, which is mostly comprised of morons, criminals and perverts (not that these three are mutually exclusive) ogling his child?? Would you let random people publish pictures of your newborn?

If, someday when I have a kid, some stranger repeatedly demands to see pictures of my kid, the first thing I will do is punch him (or her) (I know I don't hit women, but if my kid is involved, I'll break that rule). The second thing I will do is unleash a vicious punt to his groin. The third thing I will do is jump up as high as I can and land both feet on his knee. The fourth thing I will do is repeat that with his other knee. And the fifth thing I will do is kick him in the groin again. You get the idea.

Geez. And what kind of sickos are you that you want to see some random stranger's baby? It's not like you and [insert recent new celebrity parent here] are pals or anything. As long as the report is 10 fingers, 10 toes, mother and child doing well, shouldn't that be enough? Isn't that all we, as the public, are entitled to?

You'd think so ...